Life

A Lethal Force

Soft whispers
Soft spoken
Spoken lies
Spoken word
Word assassin
Word games
Games played
Games lost
Lost soul
Lost princess
Princess without a crown
Princess of Mayhem
Mayhem made
Mayhem driven
Driven mad
Driven wild
Wild adventure
Wild night
Night of sin
Night of temptation
Temptation without remorse
Temptation remains
Remains of sanity
Remains within
Within reason
Within your grasp
Grasp reality
Grasp her heart
Heart in your hand
Heart broken
Broken dreams
Broken promises
Promises the world
Promises nothing
Nothing changes
Nothing you can do
Do your worst
Do as I say
Say goodbye
Say my name
Name your killer
Name your poison
Poison her mind
Poison that’s toxic
Toxic hazard
Toxic love
Love is a force
Love is lethal
Lethal
Force

 

 

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Image courtesy of: http://www.fullhdpictures.com

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My Window

Cerulean seas touch the sky,
The sun’s rays set the world aglow.
I witness it all pass me by,
Trapped on this side of my window.

Observing vicariously,
I am here but no one will know.
I see them but they won’t see me,
Trapped on this side of my window.

Hand pressed mournfully to the pane,
Desperately I long to go.
Within my confines I’ll remain,
Trapped on this side of my window.

 

 

Photography: http://fav.me/d8w69ip

 

 

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I Don’t Want to Come Out and Play

I’ve been fairly candid on this blog about my past struggles with depression and anxiety. My confessionals have always been based on events from more than a decade ago. I was fortunate to enjoy a very long stretch completely void of any issues whatsoever. However, as anyone who has struggled similarly knows, the “cure” is rarely permanent.

I started recognizing early signs last summer. My agoraphobia was starting to make decisions for me. I hadn’t seen many friends in months. Other than trips to the family cottage on the weekends, I rarely left my house. I wasn’t even making short trips to the grocery store anymore. Christmas, with all of its demands, was a full 3 week meltdown. By February, I was being questioned about my health and whereabouts. It was time to do something.

Included in my list of anxieties, white coat syndrome. Not wanting to leave my house, and REALLY not wanting to see a physician were fairly large obstacles to overcome. It turns out that my new doctor is incredibly amazing. The whole office is wonderful. It felt good to find people who truly want to help.

I was prescribed a temporary medication (6-12 months) that should “reboot” my serotonin levels again. That would be great if the meds didn’t first involve a month-long adjustment period. I went from not leaving the house because I was mentally ill, to not leaving the house because I was physically ill. I couldn’t write a word for 3 weeks.

Happily, I have now adjusted. While my blog is still suffering from my absence, at least I’m getting Mayhem Genesis back on track. I also managed to get out a few times in March. I saw Patton Oswalt perform, had dinner with friends I was missing, and even got to enjoy some live music. For my birthday a few weeks ago, my husband gave me a new camera. I cannot wait to get out some more and play with my new toy. The weather is heading in the right direction, and so am I.

Ironically, the very first picture I took with my beautiful gift was the featured photo of my cat, who adamantly did not want to come out of his box. I can totally relate, little dude.

 

 

Photography: http://fav.me/d8w4nut

 

 

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A Gigi Post

 

Because I have been hard at work on Mayhem Genesis, I have not had as much time as I would like for new short stories or poetry. The book is getting there though, slowly but surely! I thought I’d let you guys know that I am a little distracted, but I am still here. When not working on my book, I get to spend time with this little guy. My first grandchild was born last Fall. He is such a wonderful baby. I adore every minute I spend with him. He’s getting big so fast!!

For his first 2 months, it was difficult to keep him awake. His weight dipped under 6 pounds after he was born. He had a lot of growing to do. It was exhausting work.

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As you can see, he caught up very quickly. He’s got rolls in all the right places now. However, he doesn’t seem to like the camera at all. The boy rarely cries, but when he does, it’s because you tried to take his picture.

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Thank goodness for the camera on my phone. He hasn’t realized quite yet that Gigi is snapping pictures during playtime. I watch him 1 day every week while his Mommy works. It is, hands down, my favorite day of the week.

WestonSmile

 

 

 

 

The 1 month photo by Weston’s aunt Alexis Hickman. The rest are from the Gigi Collection.

 

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